The Sandman Chronicles: Delirium
by toriazzoli1
Summary: Spike has a sister, a skanky whore *not really* who hits on Jet. Also will be posted: TSC: Rain, and TSC: Skylor very funny in our opinions...


The Sandman Chronicles: Delirium  
  
Tori Azzoli toriazzoli@tori.net  
  
Sakura-Princess gigglebaby@yahoo.com  
  
Prologue  
  
Delirium never looked back. The Martian police were hot on her trail and the ship, Desire, was going faster than its build allowed. Therefore, she jumped.  
  
And Desire kept going, straight into a building.  
  
"Hey, look! She's getting away!" A cop yelled.  
  
They too, jumped, but not before parking in a designated area; and ran.  
  
Delirium's form could only move so quickly, and her lungs were getting weak. She turned under a nearby bridge and climbed up under the awnings. The cops were again, fooled and kept going in the direction the green- haired murderess had been.  
  
All she could do was laugh. She'd outrun them once again.  
  
Ever since she was a little girl, Delli, as she liked to be called, was taught the eye for an eye stratagem; you gave what you got. And she gave her ex-fiancée just a tad bit more than he deserved. Just two days after popping the question to his girlfriend, Rosse Van Limbeek was found fooling around with one of Delli's choirgirls. They were both attacked, and later died in a hospital. The cops questioned Delli and she admitted guilt. But as she was being thrown into her cell, she used some of her sibling's tactics and kicked some guard asses.  
  
  
  
The ship Despair was her first transporting machine, and was the first to flee with Delirium. It soon crashed into the ocean. Death, Desire, and Endless each suffered a similar fate.  
  
"Arrgh!" Delli rummaged through her pockets, looking for any communication devices. A watch was found and she beeped an old friend…  
  
  
  
The Sandman Chronicles: Delirium  
  
Tori Azzoli  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
  
"Hey, Spike!" Jet hollered.  
  
No answer.  
  
"Yo! Spiko!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Spike, get your lazy - -"  
  
"He's in the shower, Jet, and he won't come out! I need that shower, Jet!" Faye answered.  
  
"Oh, well."  
  
"Why'd you want him?" she asked, walking into the room.  
  
"Well, I wanted to ask him if he had a sister."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because there's a bounty on a girl who, A.) Looks just like Spike, B.) Has the same last name, and C.) She-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I don't want an explanation on the brat." Faye interrupted. "How much is she worth?"  
  
"Three and a half million. And you should know-"  
  
"What'd she do?"  
  
"She's got a violence problem. Found out her fiancée was having an affair with one of her choirgirls, killed the girl, and shot the guy full of holes."  
  
"Sounds like my kind of girl." Spike said, walking into their smoking area, still dripping, cigarette in hand. "Who is she?"  
  
"Do you have a sister?" Faye blurted.  
  
Spike spat his cigarette out. "Why?"  
  
Jet piped in, "She's got a 3.5 million woolong bounty on her head."  
  
"Hey, I never said I had a sister!"  
  
"Sprite Spiegel, who looks exactly like you, has a matching name and attitude to boot; she's not your sister?"  
  
"What'd she do now?"  
  
"Killed off a boyfriend and his lover."  
  
  
  
"Ouch. Well, it's not the first time."  
  
Awkward silence.  
  
"What? She's always like this. Lemme guess. This guy had a thing with either her editor or a choirgirl; she killed off the girl, and destroyed everything the guy owned before killing him? Right?"  
  
"Spike, that's not funny. You already read the invoice, didn't you?" Jet inquired.  
  
"No."  
  
Faye leaned back. "Not my problem, then."  
  
"Well, Spiko. Your call."  
  
"I'm not gonna hand her in again. I did it last time she had a problem, and she got herself out and in again. No way, if you want, you can go get her. I just don't want to do it myself, alright?" He continued with his cigarette.  
  
As soon as Spike finished speaking, Ed came in holding a red-hared hussy's hand (for the sake of escaping and because she's a huge Tori Amos fan, Delli dyed her hair red).  
  
"Lookie who came in! It's Delirium S!" Ed exclaimed.  
  
"Oh, god," were the last words that Spike forced out of his mouth before he fainted.  
  
Delli looked around. "It's not a good time, is it?"  
  
Jet shook his head.  
  
Faye smiled, thinking 'yay, I don't have to do any work for this one, she just shows up to be turned in.'  
  
There are some times when Faye Valentine gets the dumbest ideas.  
  
  
  
As soon as Delirium was settled in like every other bounty, in cuffs, Ed asked for an autograph.  
  
"Why do you want that, Ed?" Spike inquired.  
  
"Cuz, Delirium S wrote that book, Snag a Bounty in 5 Hours or less. And she makes pretty music and pictures." Said a gushing Edward.  
  
Delli had the grace to blush.  
  
"I thought your name was Sprite," Jet began, and Delli wrinkled her nose at the maiden name. "or was it?"  
  
"That was my childhood name. I grew up a long time ago." She thrust her bosom out to emphasize the point. "Say, I'll make a deal with you… If you let me go- -"  
  
Spike intervened before Jet could hear the rest of her deal. "How about if we let you go at the Martian Police Station?"  
  
Delli spat at her brother's feet. "Over my dead body!"  
  
"I can arrange that," warned Spike.  
  
Ed let out a screech, "Undo her hands! I wanna autograph!"  
  
"Alright!" Spike yelled. "Only for a minute."  
  
Delli looked over at Jet. "You know, I could use my hands for other things… not just autographs."  
  
"And you can use those techniques in prison, again, so I can put you back in, again." Spike angrily shot back.  
  
Delli winked at Jet. "Spike, you always were a party pooper. Never letting me have any fun." She pouted.  
  
Spike got her hands free and she smiled, snatching Ed's book.  
  
"What's your name, kiddo?"  
  
"Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the 4th."  
  
"Wow." Delli's face contorted. "D'ya think you could spell that last one for me?"  
  
"Sure. Ed made it up herself! T-I-V-R-U-S-K-Y!"  
  
"Strange imagination you have there, Ed…"  
  
"Are you quite finished?" Spike interrupted  
  
Delli looked over at him and spread her arms open.  
  
"Awww…" Jet said. "Sibling love."  
  
Spike eyed her suspiciously. "No way."  
  
Delli stuck out her lower lip.  
  
Jet softened even more. "Give her a hug, Spike."  
  
Giving in, Spike leaned down just in time to… Get elbowed in the groin. "Awww… Shit!"  
  
Delli grabbed Jet's arm (the real one) and pulled him out with her.  
  
"Hey, waitasec!" he shouted.  
  
"No time, let's go!"  
  
Delli made a beeline for the hangar, where her racing pod, Barnabas*, was still parked. She looked inside. "Yup, everything's still in there." She pushed Jet forward. "In. Now."  
  
"If you think I'm going to-"  
  
"Get in and I'll make it worth your while." She provided, kicking him in the shin.  
  
Jet complied and looked around the clean space. There was a DVD player, CD sound system, and a shelf full of recording technicalia, contrary to the tone-deaf (not really, but whatever), messy Spike. Delli scrambled in after him and seated herself at the control panel, though on Jet's lap. After flipping a bunch of switches, the monomachine jolted forward and out into space.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oww…"  
  
Ed looked over at Spike. "She's gone," she pouted.  
  
"You say that like it's bad… Oww…"  
  
"Spiky, you okay?" Asked a depressed Edward.  
  
Spike snapped, "Why do people always ask a person in pain if they're okay?!" Still holding his burning groin.  
  
"Owie…" Ed sat at her 'tomato' tracking the ever-disappearing ship, Barnabas…  
  
  
  
Faye came into Spike's room, hoping to find a handcuffed prisoner looking very sad and regretful. To her disappointment and approval, it was just Spike and Ed. She kneeled down next to a cramping Spike and teased, "Awww… Poor baby. Did the little girl hurt you?"  
  
"Ice, please, Faye. I need ice." He gasped.  
  
"Sure, I'll get you ice…" Faye answered.  
  
End of chapter one  
  
I don't know if I can get as many chapters out anymore… my PC's been acting up lately, and I might have to hack into ffn using the library's computers to upload after mine crashes for the last time… so I'll try to get this next one out soon…  
  
In the meantime, should Faye really get Spike some ice, or not… Sakura- Princess and I have been pondering this for a while… she could throw it at him, actually give it to him, not get it at all, take off like she so well does… there are endless possibilities!  
  
Feedback is very welcome, good or bad.  
  
Gigglebaby@yahoo.com and toriazzoli@tori.net  
  
Ja!  
  
Sakura-Princess and Tori :P 


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